Things Change on Wednesdays

Same Walk, Different Shoes

“Same Walk, Different Shoes” is a community writing project that Ben Wakemanorganized as a practical exercise in empathy. The premise is simple. A group of writers anonymously contribute a personal story of an experience that changed their life. Each participating writer is randomly assigned one of these story prompts to turn into a short story. The story you are about to read is one from this collection. You can find all the stories from the participating writers at Catch & Release. Enjoy the walk with us.

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Before that day, I walked to the bus stop every morning, trailed by our goofy gray cat. I made lists in my algebra notebook of things I would say to my crush if I ever got up the nerve to talk to him. I listened to him laughing in the back of the bus with his friends and bit my bottom lip to hide a smile as I thought of him lacing his fingers through mine. I blushed.

Before that day my mom almost never drove me to school. When she did, we never talked about anything especially important; books I was reading, what she was making for dinner, who was coming to visit for Christmas.

Before that day I jumped out of the car at the curb, shrugged my bag onto my shoulder and plunged into the day, sure of myself. Sure of my Self.

Before that day, I never cried in the girls’ bathroom. I never wondered if I would ever stop crying. I never stared at myself in the mirror and wondered how I would look with blue eyes. Would I still be me? Would it matter?

Before that day, even though I loved biology class, I never paid especially close attention to the lessons about DNA and genetics and chromosome 15 and melanosomes. Before that day, I never questioned who my dad was.

My mother’s favorite flower is the iris. Every summer the rock garden along the walk in front of our house was a riot of color - yellow, purple that looks almost black, peach, pink, and her favorite, a pale sky blue. Blue like my father’s eyes. Blue like my sisters’ eyes. The river rocks that cover the ground around the stems are brown, like my eyes. Brown is the most common eye color in the world. Brown eyes are common. Brown blends in.

After that day, I changed the subject when my dad asked me a question at the dinner table. I suddenly “remembered” I had a test the next day I needed to study for. I stayed out past dinner for imaginary badminton lessons.

After that day, I was terrified I would accidentally tell him he wasn’t my father. I was worried he would stop telling me I was special because my eyes were different than the rest of my family’s. I was afraid he would overlook me. That I would blend in.

After that day, when storms rolled onto the beach in front of our house I would dare them to blow it all down. I begged the waves to pound on the door until it crashed open. I wished the walls would collapse and the house I no longer felt at home in would be sucked out by the tide and float away. I wished I could ride the waves and disappear.

After that day, nothing changed.

After that day, everything changed.